It was a pretty nice day today, so I took my dog out for a walk around the neighborhood. His name is Stog, by the way, and he's a maniac. Now most dogs like to chase sticks. Since he's made of sticks, that wouldn't make any sense. He'd chew himself apart. Nope, he likes to chase humans.
So we pass by some poor guy mowing his lawn (another hideously evil task; grass is a distant cousin in our family) and I knew there'd be trouble. Stog launched towards the guy before I could get a tight grip on his leash. The guy stood there like a doofus before he realized that this stick dog wanted to rip off a leg. So he ran, but not before Stog took a chunk out of his Levis. The dude grabs a stick and tries to beat Stog off. Again, makes no sense, and it doesn't do any good.
But, see, I'm a pretty sharp stick. I actually brought a little doggie treat for him just in case a human mauling happened (which it has before). "Here boy," I call, waving a Miracle Gro spike. Well, that got Stog's attention. He let go of the poor guy's leg and came bounding over to me. The guy limped off into his garage, probably to get he hedge clippers. Needless to say, we took off.
I guess you can say that we're not very good friends with our neighbors. My dad spotted the firepit family again and put out their genocide fun with a fire extinguisher. Add our little stick dog attack, and I'm surprised that we haven't had the cops called on us.
By the way, our house isn't made of wood. What kind of sickos do you think we are? It's got concrete walls.
So we pass by some poor guy mowing his lawn (another hideously evil task; grass is a distant cousin in our family) and I knew there'd be trouble. Stog launched towards the guy before I could get a tight grip on his leash. The guy stood there like a doofus before he realized that this stick dog wanted to rip off a leg. So he ran, but not before Stog took a chunk out of his Levis. The dude grabs a stick and tries to beat Stog off. Again, makes no sense, and it doesn't do any good.
But, see, I'm a pretty sharp stick. I actually brought a little doggie treat for him just in case a human mauling happened (which it has before). "Here boy," I call, waving a Miracle Gro spike. Well, that got Stog's attention. He let go of the poor guy's leg and came bounding over to me. The guy limped off into his garage, probably to get he hedge clippers. Needless to say, we took off.
I guess you can say that we're not very good friends with our neighbors. My dad spotted the firepit family again and put out their genocide fun with a fire extinguisher. Add our little stick dog attack, and I'm surprised that we haven't had the cops called on us.
By the way, our house isn't made of wood. What kind of sickos do you think we are? It's got concrete walls.
1 comment:
If your little dog doesn't quit leaving his pile of sticks in my yard, well,I don't know what I'll do but it won't be nice!
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